April 19th 2024 - My Confession To Everyone Who Knows Me
19th April 2024
This is a personal, humble, open confession to everyone who knows me - to all my brothers and sisters that are in any way connected to Become Born-Again Worldwide Ministry, along with all my family, friends and work colleagues past and present.
The ministry was birthed by the Holy Spirit in March 2021, around 18 months after Jesus Christ saved my life and I received Jesus as my Lord and Saviour.
Become Born-Again Ministry is the Lord's ministry and I am truly honoured to steward His ministry.
During the first three years, up until the present time of leading the ministry, the zeal that I have inside of me for the Lord's house has led me to give and give and give.
The Word of God says it is better to give than to receive.
The Word of God says that this is real love, to be willing to lay one's life down for one's friends.
During the first three years of the ministry it has been truly miraculous to see how God has grown and expanded the ministry, first of all from the UK and then into Rwanda and countries like Uganda, Kenya, Pakistan, Australia, America and Canada.
Much of the ministry's expansion and many of the ministry activities have been shared on social media.
During the first three years of the ministry, there has been over 1600 YouTube videos produced. There has been over 2000 Facebook Live videos produced. There has been testimony after testimony after testimony after testimony.
I have laid my life down to steward the Lord's ministry.
Going back five years ago to April 2019, around one week after I had been given the revelation that God is real, that God loves me, that Jesus is the Son of God, that Jesus surrendered His life on the cross for me and that Jesus Christ shed his blood on that cross to be the atoning sacrifice for all my sins, I had an evening in an Airbnb in Edinburgh, Scotland, where I faced in to all the hurt, pain and damage that I had caused during my life in the first 41 years.
That night, looking at myself in a full length mirror, I began to cry as I thought about the damage that I had caused to the people closest to me in my life. My wife. Our three young daughters. My mum. My dad. My two older sisters.
I was absolutely disgusted with the man that I was looking back at in the mirror.
As I was also thinking about things that no-one even knew about me - private secret sins including a 30 year addiction to porn - my crying turned to weeping. I was truly disgusted with the man that I was looking back at in this mirror.
In spite of living a picture perfect family and entrepreneurial life, I was a wretched sinner. Most of my sins were committed in private. Many were secret sins. Most were behind closed doors.
To the world I was living a picture perfect life, yet I was dead in sin.
That night in Edinburgh in April 2019, was the night when I was truly beginning to die to myself.
On June 16th 2019, I was baptised and I gave my life to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. My baptism was from TOTAL repentance of who I used to be, and the pain and damage that I caused the people closest to me.
From my baptism, I began to seek the Lord and serve the Lord.
Up until the last 24 hours in April 2024, I have felt unworthy to truly receive anything of significance from the Lord, for me and for my family, because of the place that I have come from.
I have felt unworthy to receive greater and greater blessings from our Father in heaven because of the place that I have come from.
I used to live with financial abundance. I earned a very significant amount of money. We lived in a huge family home. We drove incredibly expensive, brand new top of the range cars. All this was before faith and giving thanks to God for all our incredible blessings we were living with.
Since my baptism the Lord began to truly strip away from me the idols in my life. The Lord began to truly humble me. The Lord also began to teach me to put my trust in Him and in Him alone.
In 2020, and 2021 I was learning by the Holy Spirit to live by faith and to rely on God to meet all me and my families needs, day to day.
In early 2022 it was God's divine time that myself and our three daughters would move out of our family home, which had just been sold, and that we would move into our basic family caravan.
Now, in April 2024, for over two years we have lived in our small, old and increasingly dilapidated caravan. We have lived on different caravan sites, none of which have had WiFi.
During this last two years, because I have felt unworthy to receive anything more from our Father in heaven, even though there have been many opportunities through God's financial blessings to move out of the caravan and into a family home, I haven't felt like I have deserved that. I haven't felt worthy for that.
It has only been by the grace of God that I have been able to steward Become Born-Again Worldwide Ministry for the last two years, from a £3000 dilapidated caravan, without any Wi Fi.
So often I have had to rely on going to other people's homes or going to coffee shops or pubs to use WiFi to share live messages.
During the last two years in the caravan the Lord has blessed me with consultancy work through Become Customer-Centric, from the one client that God has brought forward from the old agency that I ran for 14 years PRWD. That client is the world's largest healthcare insurer Allianz.
It has been truly miraculous that I have been able to deliver important consultancy projects, conducting video research with people from different nations and often having video calls without any WiFi and relying purely on mobile phone data.
So often in the last two years there has been hardly any money in the ministry bank account and in my personal bank account. The last two years has been a period where God has continued to increase my faith and my trust in Him, our Father in Heaven, to be myself and our daughter's provider, our Jehovah Jireh.
Every single time, God has provided the necessary financial provisions to put food on the table, to get petrol and to pay bills, to ensure that I haven't had to owe other people money.
In the last 24 hours, whilst on a zoom call with my fellow trustees at Become Born-Again Worldwide Ministry Joseph Belibi and Debra Lee, God used my brother Joseph to SUDDENLY make me realise and comprehend that I AM WORTHY of our Father in Heaven bringing me and our daughters out of our dilapidated caravan and into a family home.
My brother Joseph explained how he has seen over the last 4 years that I have totally and completely surrendered my life and given up everything to now serve the Lord through Become Born-Again Worldwide Ministry.
Since March 2022 there has been over £80,000 that has been used to build and grow and expand Become Born-Again Worldwide Ministry, money that has come to me personally from God through the sale of our family home and through God blessing me with consultancy engagements.
I have given, given and given so often when myself and our daughters have been in lack. I have done this because I haven’t felt worthy to use the money for my personal living circumstances, because of my zeal for the Lord's house and for the advancement of God's Kingdom, the Great Commission.
The purpose of Become Born-Again Worldwide Ministry is “Making disciples to the four corners of the earth.”
I have been living my life continually putting others first, putting the potential needs of the ministry in other countries before the needs of me and our three daughters Isabella, Sofia and Amelia.
I thank God for my brother Joseph and sister Debra.
Yesterday, on the 18th of April 2024, I was suddenly having my eyes and my heart opened that our Father in Heaven wants to first of all, bring absolute stability to myself and our three daughters with a new family home, BEFORE Become Born-Again Ministry continues to expand with more missions, into more countries, with more ambassadors, with more Disciple Institute's, with the purchase of land.
All those things for the ministry have now been put on hold until the Lord our God has brought absolute stability and a true foundation to myself, to my family and to Become Born-Again Worldwide Ministry.
I was brought to tears yesterday, suddenly starting to feel worthy for God, our Father in Heaven, to bring me and our daughters out of our dilapidated caravan and into a new family home, in His perfect time.
I am now publicly repenting for running ahead of God, when in March 2024 I put forth incredibly ambitious goals for the growth of Become Born-Again Worldwide Ministry in 2024.
I was running ahead of God due to my zeal for the Lord's house and for the Great Commission.
I was willing to see Become Born-Again Worldwide Ministry expand more and more on a rapid scale, irrespective of whether my family living circumstances would be changing.
I repent to our Father in heaven for running ahead of Him, and I am using this message to apologise to all ministry ambassadors and all those who have seen the highly ambitious 2024 ministry goals.
Only God knows what the ministry will achieve during 2024. This is His ministry, but what I do know is at this current time, during the early part of 2024, my new focus is partnering with the Lord to see me and my family brought out from living in the metaphorical wilderness for the last two years and into the Promised Land, a land flowing with milk and honey.
I conclude by giving God ALL the glory, praise and honour for my life, my entire family, for Become Born-Again Worldwide Ministry, for all the ministry ambassadors, for all my brothers and sisters across the earth, and I give God all the glory, praise and honour for everything He is doing across the earth, as He continues to bring in new heavens and new earth.
Thank you for listening to me share this message from my heart.
May God continue to bless you, strengthen you, may He give you more grace and peace, and I urge you, my brothers and sisters, to live your life worthy of the calling that you have received, for you have been called by God.
Greater is the Spirit that is in you than the spirit that is in the world, and you can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength.
Agape, Paul
