From Wearing A Mask To The World To Living A Perfect Life
Imagine living this picture-perfect life:
✅ you are married to your stunningly beautiful wife
✅ your wife is your 1st love whom you lost your virginity to
✅ you had met & fell in love aged 18
✅ you are raising 3 beautiful young daughters
✅ you are running a high growth digital agency with a £1.1 million turnover
✅ your team is working with brands including Nike & Red Bull
✅ you are earning around £120,000 per year
✅ you are living in a stunning £700,000, 7 bedroom home in a beautiful Cheshire village
✅ you are driving in a luxury, brand new, £80,000 Land Rover Discovery
✅ you are also driving, for weekends away without the children, a £40,000 Audi TT
✅ you are a keynote speaker & author
✅ you are looked up to and highly respected in your industry
✅ the agency you run is the UK representative of the “Global Conversion Alliance”, along with other industry leading CRO agencies across the earth
That was me back in 2019, 5 years ago.
Was I fulfilled in my career?
No.
Was I fulfilled with the truly picture perfect family life I was living?
No.
Was I fulfilled with the truly picture perfect career I was living out?
No.
I wasn’t at peace.
I had been battling with that dark, destructive voice in my head for over 20 years. The same voice that we all battle with.
You know the one. We ALL know the one.
That voice made me worry, scared, paranoid, mistrusting, disturbed, confused, frustrated, at times angry. That voice haunted me and had been haunting me since my late teenager years.
On one particular occasion in 2016 that voice was whispering to me, saying the words “Just do it Paul, jump” when I was stood on the balcony of a $1.5million luxury Airbnb apartment over 22 stories high in Vancouver, Canada whilst on a luxury executive business trip with the other industry leading agency owners of the Global Conversion Alliance.
In sheer and utter terror, as I slowly moved to the edge of the balcony and looked down, seeing the cars were about the size of a pea due to how high I was, that dark, demonic voice whispered to me again:
“Just do it Paul, jump. There is no other way. You will finally be free.”
I was about to jump to a horrifying death, leaving behind my wife and our 2 beautiful daughters.
There was me, living a truly picture perfect life, ready to commit suicide.
I was putting a mask on to the world.
What people in my life also didn’t know was that my wife Clare had been getting mentally and psychological abuse by me over the last 10 years.
There was me, in spite of having “everything a man could want”, disrespecting and dishonouring my wife, regularly hearing that voice whispering to me, making me feel paranoid, mistrusting and justified in my behaviour towards Clare.
I had been going to 1-1 private therapy sessions since the age of 35, paying £100 for 1 hour sessions. In late 2018, with ZERO healing from all the 1-1 sessions of which there had been about 25, I started doing deep “hypnotherapy healing sessions”, also for £100 for 1 hour sessions.
I finished the 6 deep, emotional hypnotherapy sessions in early 2019.
The hypnotherapist told me:
“Paul you are totally healed now. You will start to find that you will no longer think about those things from your past. You will just be able to enjoy your life with your family and move on.”
I trusted him and Clare trusted me when I told her what he had told me.
Breakthrough at last.
Life-changing breakthrough & healing at last.
My life today in 2024?
5 years on from living in that place of total and utter darkness in 2019, I am…
✅ Totally healed from the childhood trauma I experienced including my parents divorcing
✅ Totally healed and having truly forgiven the 2 women who sexually abused me between the age of 10-15
✅ Living with zero fear, even of death
✅ Living with no more paranoia
✅ Living with no more mistrust
✅ Living with no more worry
✅ Living with no more guilt
✅ Living with no more shame
✅ Living with no more mental abuse
✅ Living with no more psychological abuse
✅ Living with no more wearing a mask to the world
✅ Living with no more ungratefulness for living a truly perfect life
✅ Living with no more darkness
✅ Living longer influenced by that dark voice
✅ Now living each day with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness & self-control
✅ Now waking up each more with total and absolute focus of what my purpose in life is
I thank God that in April 2019, at a place of total and absolute helpless and hopelessness, I suddenly had the revelation that:
✝️ God is real
✝️ God loves me
✝️ Jesus is the Son of God
✝️ Jesus surrendered His life on the cross for me
✝️ Jesus shed His blood on the cross so that I can be forgiven by God for my lifetime of sins
✝️ I am chosen and not forsaken
✝️ I am no longer condemned by the weight of my sin
✝️ Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour
So, what actually happened to me?
The 1-1 therapy sessions didn’t save me.
The hypnotherapy didn’t save me.
The hypnotherapist didn’t save me.
Reading “The Power of Now” didn’t save me.
Writing a “Gratitude Journal” didn’t save me.
No man or women walking the earth saved me.
Nothing in the world saved me.
Nothing in this world can save us.
No-one in this world can save us.
Jesus, the Saviour of the world, saved me.
Not only did He save life, He put His Spirit in me, took out my heart of stone, and gave me a new heart of flesh.
I now live each day as a disciple of Jesus, the hands and feet of Jesus, desiring to become more and more the embodiment of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, living out the Great Commission.
My life in Christ Jesus is perfect, truly perfect.
What an honour it is to live your life worthy of the calling we have all received, as we are all called by God to both salvation and good works for His Kingdom upon the earth.
I give God all glory, praise and honour for my testimony and my life as a living sacrifice for Him.
I thank God for everyone who will read this and whilst doing so, have the same revelation of Jesus Christ that I did in 2019, aged 41.
